Here's the 411

World News

Issues you should at least pretend to care about... nuclear war, Isis, foreign relations, that kinda shit. We got your back. Educate Youself Fool

Local News

Quite often this can be confused with the "Funny Shit" category, but here's the word around town. Oh Hawaii U so Crazy

Funny Shit

Whatever made us laugh today, hopefully it makes you laugh too! If not you're getting OLD! YES Please!


Why u ask? Because chicks LOVE celebrity gossip. Point made. Find all the Hollywood filth here... Mostly Kardashians

Think we're cool as a fan? Or DAMN you kids! I'm writing a letter!

click here & maybe we'll listen

A message from the douche lorde (our boss)


As you can see, I'm a very busy and important man (hence the cellular telephone I couldn't be bothered to put down for this picture). I work tirelessly to bring you, Joe Public, all these half ass articles straight to whatever screen or device you have shoved in your face at the moment. So what if it takes us a day longer than other sites to report breaking news? Honestly who even cares if we have all the details correct? The main reason I run this shitty little news site is because I've failed miserably in the corporate world and all I have left is this laptop! Myself and all of our contributors here at localhawaiinews.com hold our content to the highest of standards, that of a third grade elementary student. We appreciate you taking the time to sift through this moronic website, and as always... we welcome your comments good or bad. Or maybe just the good ones. Mahalo!


Mr. Hugh Jass III